June / July 2007
VOLUME 5 • NUMBER 3

Cover Story
June / July 2007

By Margie Anne Clark
There is certain wisdom, charm and grace that sparkles from the amber-green eyes of Kim Goldman — a woman whose life- experiences might have etched a more somber countenance on her familiar face. As we shake hands, her easy-going smile immediately makes me feel as if I’m talking to an old friend. Chatting as we walk through the door of her Canyon Country home, another sparkle bounces off of her necklace in the mid-morning sun. Her smile takes on a reflective hue as she answers my unspoken, curious glance, telling me the story of the cherished silver necklace, fashioned in the shape of an Ankh — the ancient Egyptian symbol for eternal life — the very breath of life itself.

“I never take it off,” reveals Goldman of the seeming paradox of the pendant that belonged to her brother, Ron Goldman. Her brother’s untimely death, and that of his friend, Nicole Brown Simpson, captivated the world in the days and years following their murders, which took place June 12, 1994 in the quiet upscale community of Brentwood. Thirteen years later, the memory of her brother lives on in Goldman’s heart and in the innocent eyes of her 3 and half-year-old son Sammy, who bears a striking resemblance to the uncle he never met.

Yet it is not unusual for the beaming youngster to stay up past his bedtime to watch his mommy and his grandpa Fred Goldman, talk about his uncle in the occasional, yet unending spurts of local and nationally televised news interviews. Poignant vignettes of Sammy’s mother in her days as a sister spending time with her brother and father, grace the coffee tables, photo albums and walls of the Goldman family room — serving as a tender reminder of life interrupted.

Through it all, Goldman, a resident of Santa Clarita since 2002, continues to maintain a positive outlook on life — a quality that serves her well in her work as executive director for the Santa Clarita Valley Youth Project. Since coming on board the SCV Youth Project in 2005, Goldman has taken the mission of the non-profit organization to heart. With the motto, “Help not hassle,” the SCV Youth Project provides a safe, nurturing environment where teens and families are strengthened, empowered and equipped with the tools they need to live successful and fulfilling lives, through crisis Intervention, peer mentoring, parent support, and group counseling. As part of her work with the SCV Youth Project, Goldman serves as a grief and support counselor to youth, drawing upon her own prolific experiences — with the knowledge that the loss of a loved one will always remain one of the most difficult and elusive struggles to overcome.

é: Life has brought you and your family some extraordinary challenges. How do you balance your work and family life with the fame and demands that you face each day as a result of the sensationalism of the murder case?
KG: I don’t think about it. I’m pretty normal, so I don’t associate myself with ‘fame.’ I happen to be a woman who has experienced grief in her life — who happens to be involved in a high profile case — which happens to be on television sometimes. My friends laugh at me sometimes. They ask me how my day was and I say, ‘Oh, I took Sammy to school, worked on a grant, led a support group, did a spot on CNN’s Larry King Live, made macaroni and cheese and now I am reading Dr. Suess to Sammy before he goes to sleep.’ I’m not making light, or wanting to sound ‘affected,’ but I just don’t think about it. I live my life very mainstream, dealing with all of the same types of challenges as the rest of my neighbors. I just sometimes have to live it out on the local news.

é: How has your brother’s tragic death shaped your life and in what ways do you strive to keep his memory alive?
KG: He is very much a part of me. I would not be who I am today if it were not for Ron and what happened to him. He is my motivator and the reason I continue to endure all the things that come my way. I take time to think about him every day. I promised him that I would get justice for him. Nothing I endure will ever compare to what he went through and the loss of his life. It’s just not an option to give up.

é: I understand that you are working on a book. Tell me a little bit about it and how has it helped you in your life and in what ways do you see it as helping others? 
KG: My purpose in writing the book is to help bridge the gap between those directly impacted by a tragedy and those who are wanting to be a good support system and just don’t know how. I’m calling it a Guide to Grief/Loss for the person directly impacted by it. It also offers some helpful inside points of view for those that are impacted on the sidelines — spouses, friends, co-workers, etc. I use my own experiences as well as that of others who I have met along the way, that feel comfortable sharing. I’ve met so many people who don’t want to hear the clinical reasons as to why they are feeling something. They just want to have the comfort of talking to someone else who has actually walked in their shoes.

é: What advice would you offer someone who has lost a loved one —— especially those who have lost loved ones in high profile situations? 
KG: Stay true to your emotions. Allow yourself to grieve your way — not the way someone else thinks you should grieve. Grief stays in your life forever and it takes on all sorts of colors, shapes and sizes, and creeps in and out when you least expect it. But it is also as reliable as a best friend. You can always count on it being there. It doesn’t make a difference if it’s high profile or not. The emotions, the process, the pain is all the same. One is just played out for the world to see, and one isn’t.

é: Have you ever had any experiences in which your advice has had an especially meaningful, life-changing impact on your students and their family? 
KG: My students have expressed that many of the things I have suggested has helped them with their family and friend relationships. I am humbled and grateful for the opportunity to be a good listener and to be able to share my own experiences in hopes that it can help someone else. But in the end, grief is very isolated and very personalized. Some of these students are so articulate and so raw at such a young age. They deserve so much credit for having the bravery to reach out for help. I’m truly amazed and feel so lucky to have the opportunity to work with them.
 
é: The SCV Youth Project was first established in the community in 2000 and has grown immensely since then, becoming a presence on almost every high school campus in the William S. Hart Union High School District. But in 2006, the organization experienced some unsteady ground. In what ways were you able to convince the school district to give the Youth Project the needed funds to continue the program and what are the plans to fund the program in the future?
KG: The Hart District sees the benefit of our program and wants to do what they can to provide all of the necessary resource to best assist their students. It’s a win-win for all involved. I am thrilled that the Hart all involved. I am thrilled that the Hart District School board is so committed to the youth in the valley. We are now in a stable position to help us get going again and help us diversify our funding sources so that we are never in a position that we are relying on one source.

é: Tell me about some of the SCV Youth Project’s fundraising activities.
KG: We hope to have three fundraisers each year. Our Bowling for Youts’ fundraiser, held each May for the past two years has been a big success, raising $9,000 in 2006 and approximately $15,000 this year. This year we are hosting for the first time the first annual Hold ‘Em, Not Hassle Poker Tournament on September 22 and we are currently planning an inaugural New Years fundraising event. My goals are to increase community giving, while encouraging the involvement of individuals and companies who are sensitive to what we do.

é: What are some of your goals for the future on both a personal and professional level?
KG: I plan to continue to speak and advocate on behalf of victims and survivors. In fact, I just started working on a new project to help put a victims/survivors resource guide in every police car in Orange County and Los Angeles County. This guide will help prepare people who have been victimized, for “what’s next,” and it will serve as a great tool for the police department to help victims. On a professional level, I am very much committed to the SCV Youth Project and it’s expansion goals for the junior high schools. I hope to increase outreach and awareness, while maintaining our financial stability so that we can reach out to as many students and families as possible. In the distant future, we would eventually love to bring our program to other cities.

é: I want to wish you and the SCV Youth Project all of the best success, and thank you so much for taking time out of your busy life to share a small part of your story with me. But your photographs are priceless and they have touched my heart. Tell me about the little girl and boy in the black and white photo.
KG: My dad took that picture. That’s Ron and I when we were just kids, all bundled up in coats and holding hands as we were walking down a path. Although you can’t see our faces, we are smiling, wondering where the path will lead. It’s a path I walk without him, at least on this earth, but his light will always be there to guide me.